


Decoding everything

by Xinessf



Category: The Bletchley Circle
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-05 07:07:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16363211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xinessf/pseuds/Xinessf
Summary: This is a parallel story of the first season. It starts during the second chapter, when Lucy arrives home after takes the train in order to find out who the killer is.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> As I'm spanish, this is my first story in english, so let me apologise for the orthograpy, expressions used or any kind of mistakes I made, because I'm sure there's some.

CHAPTER ONE

HARRY: When time do you call this?

LUCY: I’m sorry

MILLIE: It’s my fault. I really do apologise. We just lost track of time.

HARRY: Then I’m sure you’ll in a hurry to get going. We won’t keep ya.

With a single glance, Millie realised that something wasn’t right; Lucy was watching down, her fingers grabbing the handbag too hard, she radiated fear throughout the room.

MILLIE: Actually, we only came to pick up some clothes… The girls are waiting for us to come back and continue working…

Lucy lifted her eyes, astonished and frightened at the same time.

HARRY: What? No way. Lucy, come inside and go to bed

Harry grabbed his arm’s wife and pulled her towards him.

MILLIE: Oh Harry, I’m sorry but I’m afraid it’s very important that…

HARRY: Shut up! I don’t give a shit either you or your work! Get the fuck out of my house now!

LUCY: Harry! Please don’t be rude. Millie, it’s ok, we can continue tomorrow.

HARRY: See? Now go home, Millie.

The brunette looked at Lucy in the eyes

MILLIE: I insist, Lucy. We need you tonight.

Harry finally released Lucy’s arm and stepped forward, facing Millie. They both were the same height so the confrontation was aggressive and forceful.

HARRY: Well, I insist on you to go out of my fucking home. Don’t want to see me angry, do ya?

Mille, far from being intimidate, took a deep breath and stepped forward as well, saying nothing. Lucy, noticing what was coming, softly grabbed Harry’s arm.

LUCY: Harry, please, don’t. I’ll stay…

HARRY: Of course you’ll stay!! Go to the fuckig bed right now!

He finally went off and shoved her against the wall. Lucy moaned when the wall hit her back. Millie needed a second to understand what was happening; as quickly as she could, she grasped Harry’s shirt and pull the man to separate him from Lucy. He turned around and attacked the woman, giving a hard punch over Millie’s cheek. She barely saw it coming so she couldn’t avoid the hit. When the fist reached her face, she thought it was the most terrible pain she ever had felt.

Suddenly, her eyes started to burn. “ _Oh shit, I might be crying_ ”, she thought. As her vision was completely dark, she couldn’t see the next punch either, straight to the same cheek. She only realised she had fallen down when her face hit the floor violently.

LUCY: Noo, Harry, wait!!

HARRY: You fucking bitch, what do ya think you are? How dare you!

He was yelling at Millie, while Lucy tried to calm him down and placed herself in between her husband and her friend. Millie finally could open her eyes, only to watch a crazy dance of shoes.

Suddenly, Lucy’s feet stumbled so Millie could see the whole girl falling down and hitting the floor, just like herself a moment ago. Harry hit Lucy again and again, punches and kicks flying at the same time, shouting and spitting insults against his wife.

 _“Oh my God, he is going to kill her_ ” Millie, thought. Gathering her strength, she unsteady stood up and went to the couple, trying to grab Harry as hard as she could. Harry, caught unaware, felt a yank that almost made him fall down. In less than a second, he turned around to face Millie and lashed her out with all his body. The brunette hit her back against the tough wall and lost her breath.

HARRY: I’m gonna kill ya, you fucking cunt!

He punched the woman in the stomach, and since Millie wasn’t recovered the breath, she couldn’t help but open her mouth in a noiseless shout.

HARRY: What’s going on? Eh? What the fuck is wrong with you, bloody dyke? Do you like my wife? Do you want to screw my wife? Answer the fucking question!!

He was out of his wits, yelling and pushing Millie with all the weight of his body. Suddenly, he grabbed her between the legs, squeezing hardly and damaging the woman very bad, while the other hand went around her neck.

-Oh, crap!- Harry said, full of irony – Don’t you know you’re not a man? – his breath, stinky because of the alcohol, made Millie feel sick, his lips too much close to hers. – You can’t screw my wife, you’ll never be a man, as much as you try to, fucking dyke. If you ever touch her, I will cut off those pretty tits you have, you bloody bitch

Millie couldn’t move either breathe. Her vision was turning dark so she realised she was about to faint. The pressure of Harry’s hand made her groin burn so the pain was holding her consciousness a bit longer.

All of a sudden, a shapeless shadow emerged behind the man: Lucy hit Harry’s nape with a big lamp. He collapsed, just as Millie, his body lied as if it was a puppet, hers, contorted, controlled by pain.

LUCY: Millie! Millie, please, tell me something! Breathe!

Millie could hear a worried voice but she didn’t understand a single word. She only could try to get her breath back. Finally, she felt a comforting hand above her shoulders and she understood the whole situation. Lucy, on her knees, was trying to help the older woman to get straight.

LUCY: Millie, are you ok? Millie?

The brunette tried to answer, but no words left her mouth. Her throat was stinging because of the strain of Harry’s fingers. After what Lucy felt an eternity, Millie was able to answer with a reedy voice.

MILLIE: Yes..I’m Ok.

LUCY: What??

-I’m Ok – said Millie more clearly.

-Bloody hell, Millie, I hit him… - Lucy had real worry in her voice – what am I gonna do? Did I kill him? Oh shit, I’ve killed my husband! I killed Harry, Millie.

Millie forced Lucy to face her by taking her chin, slightly harder than she meant.

MILLIE: No no, dear, calm down, he’s not dead, see? He’s breathing

LUCY: Millie..oh shit..I..I..

MILLIE: Lucy!! Listen to me!! – this time, the woman got Lucy’s attention – Calm down, do you hear me? HE IS ALIVE.

As he was listening the conversation, Harry started to moaning, coming back to his senses.

MILLIE: We better move right now

The brunette stood up with difficulty and grabbed her bag.

MILLIE: Lucy, come on, move.

Lucy, frozen by fear, couldn’t help but look at the rickety body. Millie felt very bad, but she knew that Lucy wouldn’t move if she didn’t encourage her, so she pulled Lucy up. As she was a puppet, she stood up and followed the older woman towards the door.


	2. CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER TWO

The women made the whole way back quickly and in complete silence, Lucy behind Millie, limping because of the pain and the lack of one shoe. As soon as they arrived to Millie’s place, the brunette went directly to the drinks cabinet and drunk a very generous sip of liquor, all in one swallow. Her throat complained, still open wound, but she ignored it and filled one more glass with amber liquid, taking another sip, slower this time. She turned on her heels towards Lucy and gave her the glass. The younger swallowed the rest of the liquor and, for the first time since they left the house, looked Millie in the eye.

-Bloody hell – muttered Millie once she saw Lucy’s face. She had blood in her upper lip and deep cuts in her eyebrow and left cheek.

Suddenly, the younger started to cry, softly at first, broken down into Millie’s arms a couple of seconds later.

-Oh dear... easy... I’m here… - Millie whispered – Everything is fine..shh.. Let’s fix this mess, darling.

She led the younger woman to the toilet, and once there, she started to treat Lucy’s wounds.

They were in silence, Lucy sobbing softly and Millie focused on treating Lucy. Unconsciously, Millie began to undress the other woman, in order to check Lucy’s wounds out. Neither Lucy realised she was almost naked because she was staring off into space, lost in her thoughts “ _you fucking cunt…dyke…Do you want to screw my wife?_ ” The words echoed in the back of her mind “ _dyke… If you ever touch her… dyke.._.”

-Lucy?

-What? - Blinked the ginger

-Haven’t you heard me? Where are you, darling? - Millie asked with a worried voice - We should go to the hospital, these bruises look bad, dear.

-Err… no, no, it’s ok. I’m fine

-Fine? What do you mean you’re fine? - Answered Millie - You’re far from being fine.

-I don’t want to go to the hospital, Millie…

-I can deal with bruises but not with broken ribs or dislocated ankles.

-I know but… I think I just need some rest.

-Right - said Millie resigned after a second- Let me look for some clothes and painkillers.

Lucy watched Millie’s body leaving the room, always confident, no matter how hard the situation was. She had never seen Millie crying, begging or falling apart. She was a woman to be used as a reference, experienced, wise and fun, a woman who likes the life, a woman who likes women? Lucy was everything but silly, but for the first time in her life, she was aware that, sometimes, women are into women.

When Lucy went to bed, Millie could take care of herself: she went to the toilet and took her brown jumper and her trews off; she gazed at her own reflection in the mirror “ _Oh shit… I don’t look pretty much better than Lucy_ ”, she thought. Her neck was covered of brown fingerprints and her cheek was swollen and purple, with traces of blood and an ugly cut on it. Besides, she saw a very big black-and-blue mark on the abdomen. There were also invisibles wounds, those that drill your self-esteem. She had never been attacked by anyone, fiscally nor emotionally. How the hell could this bastard know about her? “ _I thought I’ve been cautious_ ” she thought. She liked girls, indeed, but she had no feelings for Lucy, at least not romantic feelings… right? Her mind was a mess, she was deeply damage but in spite of that, she had to assume the responsibility of what happened: if she had left the house at first, Lucy would probably be safe and sound, at least this time.

Millie took a couple of painkillers too, goes with another sip of liquor, and spent a few minutes brooding over the idea of lay down near Lucy. If it was up to her, she would hold Lucy close and she would let her know everything will be alright, but deep inside, she knew that the hurtful words said by Harry had done notch in Lucy.

She finally chose a tiny sofa placed in a corner of the room, but it was well known that she wouldn’t be able to sleep.  


	3. CHAPTER THREE

When Jean knocked at the door next morning, Millie was still awake.

-For heaven's sake, Millie!! – Exclaimed Jean when she saw the bruises over Millie’s face – What on earth has happened to you?

-Shhh, lower, Lucy’s sleeping.

-Is she here? What’s going on?

-Come inside, I’ll make some tea.

Millie told her friend about last night, although she left out the details of her being exposed by Harry.

-Bloody bastard… how is she?

-Well… honestly? I don’t know… She has many bruises and probably some broken ribs, but she doesn’t want to go to the hospital.

-Why? We have to persuade her, what if it’s more serious?

-I know, but in no way she’s changing her mind. I’m pretty sure this has happened before and, for some reason, she is ashamed.

-Ashamed? – Shouted Jean – bloody hell…

-I know, I know. It’s not fair… Oh Jean, if you had seen her eyes… My first instinct was kill that bastard with my own hands; I would have done it, I swear.

-I have no doubt – Jean held Millie’s hands in order to show her support – how are you, darling?

Millie looked down on the verge of tears, her lips trembling.

-I don’t know… I… I couldn’t breathe, Jean – sobbed Millie – I thought we both were going to die. And the worst part is that I can do nothing for Lucy, I don’t know how to bring her dreams back, her confidence. She is shattered. God, Jean, she is so young… she should never have lived something like this.

Jean could do nothing but nod and keep holding Millie’s hands.

When Lucy woke up four hours later, Susan, Jean and Millie were gathering around the bed, discussing about Gerald Wiggings, the railway ticket inspector who was arrested by the police, misled by them.

LUCY: That’s it, isn’t it? He’s gone.

SUSAN: Lucy, I’m so sorry.

-It’s not your fault – answered Lucy.

They kept discussing for a while, until Susan announced she was leaving. Millie, for hers part, went out to walk with Susan and stroll a bit. She really needed to make up her emotions and thoughts.

\- Jean, can I ask you something? – Asked Lucy when they were alone.

JEAN: Of course you can, darling.

LUCY: It’s… It’s about Millie.

JEAN: Ok, so what’s up?

LUCY: Has she ever… ? Has she got any boyfriend? I mean… any lover?. Boyfriend lover?

JEAN: What? Haha, dear, I don’t know. Millie is very reserved with those kind of things, you know. But… as far as I know, I would dare to say that she is not interested on that kind of things right now.

Lucy, thoughtful, kept silence.

JEAN: Don’t be worried, she is not letting this happen again. She will not tolerate this behavior neither her boyfriend nor yours.

LUCY: No, I know… It’s not that.

JEAN: Then what? What’s going on, Lucy?

Lucy struggled to find the appropriate words, but it was a very sensitive subject, besides she didn’t even understand what she should feel about it.

LUCY: Has she ever tried something?

JEAN: Lucy, honey, I’m so confused right now…

LUCY: Has she ever tried to kiss you?

Jean opened her eyes astonished.

JEAN: Kiss me?

LUCY: As a man would do.

Suddenly Jean understood what Lucy meant, and she felt a pinch of anger deep inside. “ _Is she really worried about Millie harassing her?_ ”. She knew she could not be angry with Lucy, but if she didn’t choose the proper words, Lucy could get the wrong idea.

JEAN: Would it be a problem to you? Besides, how on earth did you get this idea?

LUCY: When Harry was… you know… He said something about it.

JEAN: Harry? This bloody idiot? In any other situation, I’d tell you not to listen this man again, but under the circumstances, I have to ask you something.

Lucy opened her eyes with curiosity and concern.

JEAN: Has she tried to kiss you, or touch you in any way?

LUCY: No, of course not. God, it’s just…

JEAN: Then what?

LUCY: I don’t know, Jean.. I’ve never…

JEAN: You have never known about the existence of lesbians, haven’t you?

LUCY: Jean, please, don’t be mad of me…

Jean tried to pull herself together and took a deep breath.

JEAN: Sorry, Lucy, I’m truly sorry. I am. However, I have seen Millie crying because of you, beating herself up because she couldn’t do anything for you, sat at this sofa doing nothing more than watching you. It’s not fair, Lucy. She hasn’t judged you because of who you married with, so don’t judge her because of who she loves. Let have some tea, I think we both need it.

Millie came back nearly one hour later, and when Jean waved their goodbye from the door, either women waited in silence,both hopping the other one broke the silence.

LUCY: Jean told me you’ve been sleeping in the sofa. You don’t have to, there’s enough space for both in here. Besides, this bed is yours.

-You sure? I don’t want you to get hurt... yet again.

-Don’t be silly – said the ginger smiling weakly- I’ll fine.

Millie changed her clothes and, after a bit, she approached to bed and laid down close to Lucy.

-Lucy I’m so sorry. This is all my fault. If I hadn’t forced you to take that train, you would not have arrived late.

-Millie, this is not the first time, I’m rather sure Harry would have found something else to blame me for.

\- Has it been always like this?

\- Yeah… - answered sadly the younger.

-For heaven's sake, Lucy, why do you hang in there?! – Millie raised her voice without even notice – There are many good thigs to fight for! Many people!

-I know. I _do know_ now. I’m not coming back with him, Millie.

\- Aren't you?

-No. But I will look for another place to live; I won’t bother you more than necessary.

-No no, dear, it’s fine. Stay whatever you need. Let get some rest.


	4. CHAPTER FOUR

A few days went by and the women continued their search. Lucy was recovering little by little, although she spent most of the day in bed. She still had a damaged leg and her bruises have turned into yellow, but she tried to help by cracking codes, just like the others.

JEAN: Millie, we have not had the chance to catch up since the incident. How are you doing?

Millie looked towards Lucy before answer, which was deeply asleep.

MILLIE: Fine, I guest.

JEAN: Yeah… I suppose that, given the situation, it must be hard for you to have Lucy here.

Millie stared at Jean, not being sure if she have understood what Jean meant.

JEAN: I mean… you like her, don’t you? It must be pretty hard for you to have her in your home, in your bed…

MILLIE: Excuse me? What are you talking about?

Jean raised her eyebrow and continued moving papers as if the conversation was not important.

JEAN: Should I be more clear?

\- Be my guest – said Millie on the defensive.

JEAN: You sleep with Lucy every night but you can’t let her know you love her.

Millie was so astonished that she couldn’t even answer back

\- I suspected about it since we gathered again, but your face, my friend, have just confirmed it – Jean said in a funny tone.

Millie evaluated the situation and, one second after, she started to smile.

MILLIE: Bloody hell, Jean, how on earth did you notice?

JEAN: Well dear, you worked for me for a long time, I know about your preferences ever since. As for her, you don’t have to be very smart… However, we _are_ very smart, so…

Millie nodded and glanced at Lucy again.

MILLIE: At first, I only like her, but after what happened… I don’t know, Jean, maybe I’m lost and confused… What if I’m struggling with this feeling for nothing? What if I only want to see her safe and happy, and that’s it?

JEAN: Millie, if you only want to see her safe and happy, there is your response.

Millie was about to answer when the door suddenly opened. Susan came hastily into the room.

MILLIE: Susan, what is it?

SUSAN: I think it was him.

MILLIE: What?

Jean slowly stood up, paying attention to Susan’s words.

SUSAN: Crowley’s at the hospital.

The three women barely grabbed their handbags and coats when they were already running downstairs, heading the hospital in search of Crowley.

After a fruitless long night, they went home. The women could only think that they have ruined everything by saying nothing to the police, acting on their own and run the risk again.

Next morning, Lucy felt better so she went to her home with Millie in order to pick up some clothes, and when they came back, she got a surprise: Jean had placed a bed in a corner, with a curtain hanging up to give her more privacy.

-Is this for me? – Lucy said extremely emotional.

MILLIE: Housewarming present. This is your home now.

LUCY: Thank you.

-Jean, you terror! – Millie said when she heard Jean opening a bottle of liquor.

-Damson Gin. I make it myself. Just a wee tot, it’s strong. Cheers!

So the three women toasted Lucy’s new life. Lucy was certain about her decision of leaving Harry, but she wasn’t entirely sure about what she was giving up: a home, a husband, incomes, the chance of a family (the odds were that her own family would reject her for leaving Harry and her home). On top of that, she was unfamiliar with the stranger sat in front of her: Millie. She was full of gratitude but Lucy also was afraid of what she was beginning to feel since she knew about Millie’s tastes. It was like the excitement of the first cigarette: you have never tried it but you know it is there, waiting for you to try. What if she took that train? What would happen if she took the plunge? Perhaps she should dodge the bullet and just run away… But deep inside she knew it was too late, that bullet has already reached her.

Susan burst into the room, sat near her friends and took the glass that Jean was giving to her. They caught up for a while, trying to sort Crowley’s case out (why he did it, where he was, why he was setting other men up in his crimes, etc.), and when the night came, Jean and Susan went away to each homes.

LUCY: Millie, I haven’t thanked you for all of this.

MILLIE: Oh dear, you have.

LUCY: No, I’m not. I mean, it’s not only the bed… You took a big risk for me… you get hurt because of me….

MILLIE: What? Don’t say that, it wasn’t because of you, darling. Besides, I did nothing.

Millie looked down, recalling the fight with Harry.

-I couldn’t stop him from hurting you –The brunette sounded sorrowful and defeated.

-I’m the one how should have stopped him, long time ago. But you… –Lucy got close to Millie and forced her to look her in the eye – you did something more important: you gave me a reason to leave; you encouraged me and helped me in many ways. In fact, you’re not aware of how much you have helped me.

-Lucy… - the older woman hesitated. She didn’t seem the same woman Lucy used to know, confident and brilliant. In this moment, she looked more like a young girl, struggling with her own feelings – About what Harry said…

-Oh, easy Millie, I know you’re not a bitch –Lucy retorted with a weak smile.

Millie smile as well and rolled her eyes.

-It’s not that. It’s about… about me… liking girls… you know?

Lucy looked at Millie, waiting for her to continue talking.

-It’s not an easy thing to say, Lucy… Harry wasn’t right in almost anything, but in that…

LUCY: So you really like women, don’t you.

MILLIE: Yes, I do.

Lucy turned around and looked down. There was. She couldn’t avoid the conversation, not at that point. _“Silly, silly girl, Lucy. Now what? Take a punt or run away”_ she thought.

MILLIE: I know maybe it’s awkward for you to stay. I understand it; probably Jean can fit you in her flat.

Millie squeezed her hands nervously. She knew that let Lucy know was the fairest thing for her, but she can’t stand to see her like that.

MILLIE: Look, Lucy, I’m sorry, right? I know it’s not quite normal, and I would understand if you don’t want to get involved in this. I’m not asking for your empathy, but I won’t apologise for who I am either.

Lucy faced Millie, still quiet. _“Came on, Lucy, say something. Are you going to run away from her? Really?”_ thought the redhead.

MILLIE: Oh fuck I’m sorry… I shouldn’t say that… I’m not angry with you, I’m angry with myself for letting you down.

\- Do you like me? – The words were saying at last. She made her movement, so now depended on Millie.

“ _Lie, Millie, don’t mess things up. Lie, for Christ’s sake!”_

-Yes - _“Bloody hell”_ , Millie reproached to herself _“Didn’t I tell you to lie?”_.

The word just fell out. Well, it was already said. She will probably split, terrified by the idea of share a room with a goddamned dyke and… Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted: Lucy kissed Millie, making the brunette’s heart jump and stop at the same time. She couldn’t help but stared at Lucy when she moved away.

-Ever since Harry said all those thigs about you, I couldn’t stop thinking of you… and me. But even though you are into women, it didn’t mean you were into me.

-Oh Lucy, I am, indeed. See you like this, lay down in the bed with all those bruises… I was totally tore. – Millie held Lucy’s hands.

-I know. I’m sorry… I’m sorry –moaned Lucy, resting her forehead on Millie’s chest.

-Shh, it’s alright, darling.

Millie softly kissed Lucy and wrapped her up with her arms as if she was the most valued treasure she had.

Suddenly Lucy’s look changed, her kisses became more eager, and her fingers grab Millie’s hips hardly, pulling them towards hers.

 _“It is now or never_ ” Millie thought, so she took a deep breath and, the confident woman Lucy used to know, came back. Millie gripped Lucy’s buttocks and pushed her away against the wall. She took control and began to undress Lucy, slow but steady, enjoying every millimeter of her velvety skin.

Lucy groaned delicately. How different Millie was from Harry! She smelt of smoke and perfume, exuding passion for each pore of the skin, her long fingers stroked Lucy’s body. One experienced hand removed Lucy’s nylon and Millie knelt down to kiss the other woman’s belly. The older one went beyond, doing something that Harry never did, and Lucy get lost in desire. Millie only showed Lucy part of what she could do, saving something for the end.

Millie’s hands landed in Lucy’s breast while she got up and kissed her lips and neck. Lucy was no longer in control; she scratched Millie’s shoulder and lifted a leg, using it for moving Millie’s hips closer to her pelvis.

-Millie… - muttered Lucy, getting swept up in passion – Where on earth have you been.

Millie released Lucy’s nipple and drove her hand towards her groin.

-Hahaha, right here, my darling – scoffed Millie – Hidden in a suburb of London. As the riff-raff people.

-Hahaha – answered Lucy. Then she whispered with a rough voice - don’t be silly and shag me.

Millie led the younger woman to bed and did it. They spent hours snogging into the sheets, speaking, laughing, knowing each other, with no other worry but kiss and get kissed.  


	5. CHAPTER FIVE

None of the women saw the morning coming, so they fell asleep when the dawn approached.

-Millie! Lucy! Are you there? - Shouted Susan from behind the door.

Either women jumped caught unaware; Lucy covered herself up with the whole sheet and jumped towards her bed, leaving Millie completely nude.

-Shit –Whispered nervously the younger, coming back to Millie.

-It’s ok –Muttered Millie while she grabbed a blue silk housecoat from the sofa.

Lucy put her nightgown on and Millie finally opened the door.

-Susan – Said the brunette with a smile, as if watch Susan knocking at the door was the most normal thing in the world – Hello.

Susan came into the living room and, with a single glance around, she knew what it was happening: Millie’s bed was a mess whereas Lucy’s was perfectly made; besides Lucy wore the nightgown upside down and, as far as she could see, Millie was obviously naked beneath the housecoat.

SUSAN: Are you guys ok? Because Jean and I have been waiting for you downstairs nearly twenty minutes…

MILLIE: Haven’t you? Oh bloody hell, I’m sorry…

SUSAN: Yeah… We met up at 10:00 am, remember?

MILLIE: Yes, of course… We just… – Millie looked at Lucy, begging for some help -… You know… We were speaking and drinking some tots and…

LUCY: Yeah… we lost track of time… Sorry Susan. I better get dress.

Lucy slipped out towards the toilet meanwhile Millie smiled Susan awkwardly.

MILLIE: Would you like some tea?

SUSAN: No, thanks. I’ll leave you alone so you can get dress too… We will wait downstairs.

Millie smiled again and saw Susan walking towards the door. Suddenly, the woman turned around and looked at Millie.

SUSAN: Lucy has been through so much, she doesn’t deserve to be one more conquest, you know that, right?

Millie looked away but before she could object something, Susan continued talking.

-I know it could has been me. I’m not saying I regret it because I’m happily married now and I love my kids the most, but which I regret is have broken your heart. Lucy is worthy, but so do you. You both deserve to be happy – Said Susan with a weak smile in her face.

Millie just imperceptibly nodded in silence and watched Susan leave the room, closing the door behind her.

Once they were together, the four women agreed about Susan going to see Mr. Cavendish again and let him know about her running into Crowley the other night at the hospital. The meeting was very profitable and she figured out that Crowley was working along Cavendish by drawing postcards used to undermine the moral’s soldiers.

The day went by, and once again, the darkness was witness to the passion that Millie and Lucy roused each other.

In the morning, Millie was the one who phoned Jean and gave her the bad news: Susan have called a few minutes before just to say Mr. Cavendish have committed suicide; she needed their help in order to check his study, before the police arrived and forbad the entry to everyone.

-Quickly, we haven’t long before the police arrive – Susan said when opened Cavendish’s house’s door.

MILLIE: What happened?

SUSAN: He’s dead.

JEAN: How?

SUSAN: It looks like suicide.

MILLIE: You think Crowley did it?

SUSAN: I just don’t think he is the kind of man to kill himself.

JEAN: Why now?

MILLIE: That’s obvious, isn’t it? Cavendish was trying to find Crowley.

LUCY: Maybe he did find him. Somehow.

They were discussing standing at the corridor until Susan asked them to enter into the study. Millie and Jean came along, but Lucy couldn’t move, unable to step forward, trembling because of the idea of facing a dead body again.

LUCY: I can’t. I’m sorry, I just… I can’t do that again.

SUSAN: Lucy, we need you…

LUCY: When we went into that cellar and we saw Mary Lawrence…

MILLIE: I know it’s awful Lucy…

-No, you don’t know! – Answered Lucy back – Because I still see it. I see it every night when I close my eyes, I see every part of it, every detail, I see her face…

-Alright, you don’t have to – Settled Jean.

Susan didn’t agree with the other three women: she wanted to find Crowley by themselves, but in no way Jean was willing to take that risk: if Cavendish was murdered by Crowley, they could be next. So Susan, defeated and upset, brought the troubled postcards and all her enquiries to the police.

Lucy suddenly woke up in the middle of the night and found Millie sat at the table, smoking with a lifeless gaze.

-Can’t you sleep? – Said the younger, filling a cup of fresh water. Millie smiled and denied by shaking.

-I’m sorry about what happened at Cavendish’s, by the way. – Said finally the older one – I didn’t know you felt so.

-It’s alright, how could you know? – Lucy sat near Millie and looked at her. She really didn’t know how to deal with that situation. On one side, she felt safe, grateful, happy… she couldn’t ask for more. However, she also felt weird. She hadn’t got the courage to face the world arm with arm with Millie. – Millie…

MILLIE: Mmm?

\- I don’t think I can… - Lucy looked away and bit her lower lip.

\- What do you mean, dear?

\- Me… and you… - Lucy spoke soft and sadly, knowing she was about to break Millie’s heart.

The brunette looked fondly at Lucy. She knew it at heart from the first moment that crazy ride began. She held her tears back and sighed.

MILLIE: It’s ok, Lucy.

Lucy raised her eyes towards the woman sat in front of her. She felt awful, she knew she should have thought better before let Millie love her. _“For God’s sake, Lucy, how can you do it to her?_ ”

LUCY: Millie… don’t… You have the right to be angry, I’m being terrible with you, I don’t deserve you to treat me well.

\- Lucy, leave that behind, please. You don’t have to love me. -Millie was broken; she barely could stifle a howl. She felt a pressure in the chest so big that it didn’t let her breathe, but she bit the bullet and smiled weakly – You like men, you always did. This we have lived was meant to die even before start… That is how it is… and you owe me nothing.

The devastated woman caressed Lucy’s cheek with boundless affection, stood up to head the bed and, for the first time in ages, she cried in the stillness of the night over the love she just lost.

Next morning, the four women met up again and, by using Crowley’s artwork, they concluded that the woman drawn in the postcards was the same woman Crowley was trapped in the rubble with. After find out the name of the girl as well as her last known address, they came back to the library.

-See enclosed addendum A. – Said Lucy, looking for the correct page.

SUSAN: It’s here. This is interesting. She made a formal complain to her supervisor at SOE. Malcom Crowley had been following her. Bothering her.

JEAN: When’s it dated?

SUSAN: Three months before she died.

JEAN: So they weren’t just random strangers caught in a bomb blast. He already knew her.

SUSAN: He already wanted her.

Susan was uneasy that night, mulling over the enquiries so she was incapable to sleep. So does Millie, who was at Jean’s, letting her return drag on.

JEAN: Millie, you will not sort this out by drinking nor smoking like a chimney.

MILLIE: There is nothing to be sorted out, Jean. She gave up on this. She is not fighting.

JEAN: And what about you, girl?

MILLIE: Me?

JEAN: Yes, you. You just walked away. You didn’t say a word to change her mind. Non a single reason… You just let her go.

Millie swallowed the liquor and refilled the glass for third time, this time until the verge.

JEAN: Millie, stop. You’ll regret it; you’ll wake up with a big hangover…

-So what? – The brunette answered back while she took another big sip. – I knew it would happen, Jean, and I honestly thought I could stand it. – She drank again and hid her face behind her hands – I guess I’m not as strong as I thought I was…

JEAN: oh, dear, you’re the strongest woman I’ve ever met. I’m sure you can handle it. But I’m also sure that, if you give to her one single reason to take the risk, she will stay by your side.

MILLIE: like what, Jean? What am I supposed to say? _“Live with me! I won’t mistreat you, I swear!_ ”

-Ok, enough alcohol for you. – Jean took the glass from Millie’s hands, which protested without success. – You can either stay or go home, but I won’t let you feel sorry for yourself.

Millie tried to stand up in a decent way, but she had to rest her hand atop the table. Once recovered, and with a skeptical Jean staring at her, Millie grabbed her coat and her handbag and headed the door with an unsteady walk.

-Whatever – She muttered while she slammed the door.  


	6. CHAPTER SIX

When Millie opened the library’s door followed by Lucy, she came across Jean’s frozen look. She, embarrassed, looked away; Jean obviously was right, she regretted to drink that much last night, but she didn’t feel like speaking about it, so she just kept silence. Jean let it go and began to organise papers atop the table. Half an hour later, Susan came into in a hurry, and with any word, she set all the organised papers aside.

MILLIE: Oh Susan! That took us ages to put together!

SUSAN: Oh calm down, this is important. Now when Crowley killed the girls, he was clever. He made a pattern that always pointed at someone else. But he carried on all over the country and I think he made another pattern. A large spiral, like a nautilus shell.

They kept discussing until Lucy found out that Chedworth was the place where the first victim had a house.

SUSAN: We need to go through all the data on Julie Oakwood.

MILLIE: That’s what I was doing until you came in and knocked it about all over the place…

SUSAN: But you weren’t looking in the right places, that’s what…

JEAN: Stop it the pair of you!

LUCY: Wait! There’s something here. They sent Julie’s effects to a forwarding address in North London, care of her father. We could call him and ask about the cottage. His telephone number’s right here.

Susan went out of the room to make the call, and when she came back, she announced she was going to see Julie’s father. Millie wanted to come along, but Susan denied with an excuse.

-How is Millie? – Jean asked to Lucy when Millie wasn’t listening.

\- Why? Did she tell you anything? – Answered Lucy a bit ashamed.

-She told me everything –Nodded Jean.

-Oh... – Lucy looked away for a second – Well… She arrived late last night, and I’m pretty sure she had drunk, but we didn’t speak. It’s…

-Complicated? – Interrupted the older – I think you are the complicated one.

Millie got close to them with the hands full of papers and the conversation ended.

In the meantime, Susan arrived to her destination. She hadn’t said to the rest of the group that it was Crowley the one she was meeting up with. She entered in the house and after wander around, she headed the basement. Once there, she finally faced Crowley.

CROWLEY: You came.

-I had no choice. –Answered the woman while she pointed Millie’s gun at the killer.

CROWLEY: It’s not that I wat to hurt your family. But I knew you would need an excuse. You do want to be here, don’t you? Be honest with yourself. You’ve been bereft, like me. Ever since the war ended, you’ve been waiting and hoping and longing. Believe me, I understand. But you didn’t give in. And somehow you found me. No-one else came close. I was waiting such a long time for you to call.

SUSAN: You were waiting for me?

Susan and Crowley were facing each other, having the most profound conversation the woman has ever had. She was visibly scared, trembling from head to toe, and when he commanded her to push the gun aside and put some perfume on, she almost freaked out. _“For heaven’s sake, he is going to kill me just like the other_ _girls…”_

CROWLEY: I thought I’ve lost you.

SUSAN: I am not Julie Oakwood.

CROWLEY: You know what we have to do.

SUSAN: No! We don’t. I know what happened to you. That wasn’t your fault. It was horrible. But You have a choice now.

CROWLEY: please don’t be mundane. Neither of us have a choice. Everyone else can carry on their hopeless, empty, boring existences; your son, your daughter, your husband. But in here, it will be just the two of us.

-Please – Begged Susan bawling.

CROWLEY: It won’t hurt.

SUSAN: Leave them alone.

CROWLEY: It will be beautiful.

Susan’s sobs were quieted down by a deafening noise, and a flash flooded the whole room: Millie shot Crowley down, reached him in the shoulder. The man collapsed, but when he realised what was happening, he pulled a string connected with a hand-grenade, in a futile attempt to kill everyone in the room, included himself. Susan, as quick as she could, held the grenade, using her fingers as a lock. Crowley jumped towards Susan and tried to release the bomb, but Millie fired three more bullets, snatching the murderer’s life.

SUSAN: Please someone find the pin!

MILLIE: Hairpin, Jean!

Millie gave Susan the hairpin so she could inserted it into the lock with flickering hands.

-Oh my God! - Millie said while she surrounded Susan’s hands with hers – Susan, let go. It’s alright.

They stared at the lifeless body and Susan finally broke down and cried into Millie’s arms.

-It’s alright, it’s alright – The brunette embraced her friend, trying to calm her down while Lucy and Jean looked the scene full of worry.

The night went by and after the police came to clean up the crime scene, the women went to Jean’s library.

-Why didn’t you tell me?- Millie asked Susan. She felt deeply hurt by her betrayal. She was her best friend, how could she not trust her? – I went to get a fag and when I saw the gun was missing… You should’ve told me.

Either woman kept silence, just looking each other.

LUCY: There. All done.

SUSAN: What do I do now? What do I say?

JEAN: If you try to explain, you’ll end up telling him about Bletchley. Everything.

They finished boxing the files and, feeling a bittersweet satisfaction, they went home.

-Millie, can we talk? – Lucy asked when at home.

\- Sure.

Lucy bit her lower lip and began to speak in a hasty speech.

LUCY: Ever since Harry hit me for the first time I’ve been living with a big burden upon me. Every morning, my first thought was always the same: Will it be today? What will I do to make him angry? What if he finally loses control, gives me a bad blow and I end up dead? I’ve been waiting for more blows every day, just watching the life pass by – she took a break to look Millie in the eye – Until you. When I saw Harry knock you over, that feeling disappeared: I was no longer afraid for me… I was afraid for you. And I realised I had to live… I wanted to live.

MILLIE: Dear…

-Don’t. Let me finish, Millie. I need to say it out loud. – She stepped forward and faced the older woman – I really fucked it up with you, and I’m sorry. You gave me everything, a home, a reason to live, your heart… and I just threw it away. You showed me that kisses don’t have to taste like alcohol and fear, caresses don’t have to burn. I’ve been a bloody coward, and when I saw I could lose you in that basement… I don’t want to be a coward anymore. I want to stay by your side. – She smiled weakly -At least until you send me away.

Millie smiled and held Lucy’s hands. When the brunette looked at Lucy, she could feel that Millie had forgiven her, and the gaze full of love she gave to her, made Lucy feel the happiest human being in the whole world.

 

END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This's the end. 
> 
> I'm completely obsess with this amzing tv show and its characters (oh, Millie..), so I will write more for sure.  
> In addition of that, let me apologise again for my english and the bad use of some words or expressions.
> 
> Thanks for read and for write all of thoses marvelous fanfics that keep my imagination flying and help me that much to improve my english.


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